He Would Have Loved It

I knew a day like yesterday would come. We all did. As I thought about the upcoming proposal, I thought of my Daddy. He loved my nephew's girlfriend and called her his "little ray of sunshine." Their birthdays were only a few days apart and we always ate at Cracker Barrel to celebrate their birthdays. I am so thankful that in 2009 at our last one, I got a picture of the two of them sitting by each other sharing a laugh with everyone else. This picture truly shows how much he loved his family and this sweet girl.

As I took pictures last night, I thought about him. I thought about how he would have been "mad" at us for not telling him advance. For you see, we all knew he wouldn't keep a secret. As the saying goes, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree because Red is the same way - we were just calling him Bill Jr last night. I could see him running up to hug their necks after the proposal was made - laughing and crying all at the same time. He would have been so proud.

He loved his family and loved this sweet girl. Try as we may, we all had to think of something else. We had to think of the joy of the night but I knew in my heart he was there with us - smiling and laughing right along with all of us. I just wish he could have actually been there. In my mind and my heart, he was supposed to be.

Life Lessons

Life is sometimes that four letter word. We feel the weight of the world on our shoulders and wonder why all of this is happening. The comparison of our life to everyone around us begins and so follows the doubt, anger, fear, worry - all those emotions that keep us from seeing the picture. But what if our reactions to these times changed? What if we decided to not let those worried and thoughts enter our minds but instead look at things completely different?

Have we ever thought that just maybe there was a lesson being taught? That through this trial or circumstance God had plans to mold us, humble us, and reveal to us what He wants? This is exactly what happens for His children. Nothing and I mean nothing comes upon our lives unless it is first goes through His loving hands. When money is tight, when people mean to bring you harm, when life is pressing against us at all sides - yes there is a lesson there. God wants to strip away the things of this world and point our lives toward Him and His plan.

Life - that four letter word that is daily used to bring us into a closer relationship with Him or to some, bring them to a relationship with him. You or I may be the difference in someone accepting that call on their lives or choosing the World. May we choose to ask "Lord, what are you trying to show me? " instead of "why me?"

Trust in the Storm

A fragile yet so important thing we have is trust. Trust can help you feel safe and secure yet when lost, it can leave you brokenhearted. We put our trust in people only to have our hearts and lives stomped on in the process. Many times when this happens, that trust can never be restored or will take a long time to mend. Yet there is One that we can put our trust in who will never let us down. God can be trusted when times are good and when times are bad. It’s easy to say to someone “Just trust God” than it is sometimes to live that out in our own lives. When the storms come, we see only what is happening and nothing else. Our minds begin to worry about what will happen. The “what ifs” of life being to overwhelm us.

God takes care of His children. There is always a reason for the storm that you or I are in. It’s a storm that God wants to use for His glory because that is what it is all about. It’s not about what we want, but about what He wants to do in this world. We just have to hold His hand and trust Him when all we can see is the storm - the waves crashing onto the boat, the fierce wind howling - the deafening thunder - the lightning all around. The boat is rocking and we are scared. If we remember when this happen to the disciples, Jesus was asleep in the boat. He knew that God was in control. 

Jesus Calms the Storm
23 Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. 24 Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. 25 The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

27 The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
Matthew 8: 23-27

He controls the storms in our lives by directing the waves and wind to mold and shape us into what He wants us to be. He controls the storms in our lives at other times to change someone else’s life. We just have to hold on and believe. Believe and trust that when the storm is over, we will look back and see the hand of God all over it. When the waters are calm and the sun returns, we will be better because of it. For without the storms in our lives, we would not grow and He could not use us for His glory.

So if you are in a storm or about to enter one, trust Him. Give him your worries and your fears and know that He has this.

Fear

Fear is a powerful thing. It can cause you to lose focus. It's can persuade you into not following your dream or giving up on something. It can immobilize you into nothing. Make you feel like you are worthless.
As time passes you wonder if you will ever be able to see past it then it hits you. Fear is not of God. God is not a God who wants to feel His children with fear but with love. In Matthew chapter 6 Jesus tells us to not be anxious. He has this. He wants you/me to step back, look up and ask one simple question - "God what are you trying to show/teach me?" God will help you conquer the fear that immobilizes you but you have to be willing and trust Him in the storm.
I know I have fears - fears of losing family, friends, jobs - the list could go on. It is when my fears begin to over take me that I must run then - I must run as fast as I can to my Father. He is there wishing I wouldn't wait so long. "Why do you linger in your fear my child?" He seems to ask in His loving voice. No condemnation for me - no "I told you so" - just assurance and peace that everything will be ok. For as a child of God nothing and I mean nothing happens in your life outside of the hands of God. So when it hits, I am running - all of my fears and worries - I am running to Him, the Author and Finisher of my faith. The only One who knows my heartache and understands my fears. The One who can bring peace and assurance like no one else.

The Hand

When people look at this picture they would say they see me after having the twins. Reasonable for someone to say that but I see something totally different. I see the hand.

I see the hand that held me when I was young. The hand that held mine when I was scared or crossing the street. The hand that played catch with me for hours. The hand that taught me so many things. The hand that would rub my back in the mornings to wake me up before school. I see the hand of my hero, my Diddy.

I don't think it was until he was gone when it stood out in this picture to me. There is was - in the midst of both of families and the older two kids in the room - in all that excitement there stood my Diddy right beside me. Right beside me watching over his daughter and his new grandchildren. You can't see his face but I know that he had a huge smile and was bursting with pride over two more grandchildren.

I can remember the morning of that dreadful day in February when the doctors told us there was nothing else they could do, that all I wanted to do was hold his hand one more time. I wanted so badly for him to squeeze my hand just one more time and tell me he loved me. That hand that was so big and strong. That hand that when I saw it in this photo, brought me to tears. He was always looking out for us and this picture just shows that.

Today he would have been 76. I miss him just as much as I did when we left the hospital that day without him. I know that I will see him one day and be able to hold his hand again.

Break time

Since the first of summer, Red has been running cross-country for the school. He has loved it and is currently the second fastest runner for his grade on the team. That was until this past week. While at his Dad's, he had the misfortune of having a metal bed rail fall on his foot. He came home and told us but it didn't seem to be bothering him so he continue practice as usual. He ran a 5K meet and his time was slower than normal. As the week went on, he ran but then finally, last Thursday, the foot had enough of the running. He had to stop practice and see the trainer. After a quick trip to the doctor this morning for x-rays, he has a hairline fracture and will be out for about 2 weeks. Needless to say, he has nice black boot to add to his attire for the next couple of weeks.

Time to Make a Difference

We have a new youth pastor at our church. The Sunday night before school started he spoke. One statement that he said blew me away - "We are to blame for the world that our kids are living in". Wow! We complain that this world is screwed up and it's a scary place to raise our kids. Yet his statement caused me to look into my own life and see that I am to blame. How many times have I not chosen to be different - to not stand up for what is right regardless of what others thought and only concerned myself with what my God thought of me?

It's time for me, for ALL Christians, to be different and make a difference in this world. Can you imagine your community changing because God's children started to look different from the world? It all starts with one person. You and I think "who will listen to me after all that I have done?" We are no different than David, Moses, Noah, Peter, Paul and many others. They like us made mistakes and yet God used them to change things. He used them because they made themselves available. When we finally decide to truly die to ourselves, our wants and desires and make ourselves available, God will work to change this world. Revival starts with God's children, not those that are lost.

It's time to make a difference.