Bittersweet

Tomorrow I start my new job.  It's been a great two months.  I have been there day in and day out with the kids getting to be there for them every day.  As I head back to work, I have mixed emotions. I am excited to be starting this new chapter in my life and sad too that I have to be away from the kids now during the day.

I will miss seeing their smiling faces throughout the day. I know that the first few days will be hard but I know that my God will bring me through it.

I will try not to cry tomorrow morning as I leave. I will miss spending those first moments when the babies wake up as we lay in the bed and play.  I will miss hanging out with the older two and taking them to all their activities. It's going to be hard to go from seeing them all day to just a few hours during the week, but I know that this is what I have to do.  With my new job comes the opportunity to possibly work from home which is something that I have prayed for over the years.   I won't be able to be around them like I am now but I would be close, in the next room - I could hear their laughter and run get a hug and kiss whenever I wanted.

What started out as a very scary time has ended up as a pure blessing.  I could have never imagined the road that God had for me when this year started. It was all supposed to go as I had it planned in my head, but His ways are not our ways.  His way is always better even when we don't understand.  We can only see right now, but He can see tomorrow.  And I take comfort in that.