Pages

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thankful on a Thursday with a Heavy Heart

Thursdays' posts are usually about things that I am thankful about and today is no exception. The only thing is today is very hard. See today is my daddy's birthday, but it's the first one without him. I had thought about writing several posts leading up to today to give you insight on who he was and how great of a man he was. But I am not ready for that. Every time I have tried, I end up in tears. I plan to write a series on him but not right now. This post is hard enough to write.

This time last year we never thought we would be gathering at Cracker Barrel for our last birthday celebration with him. We laughed like we always do and he had the Mama's Pancake Breakfast with extra syrup. He was a diabetic but he always had to have the extra syrup.My nephew's girlfriend's birthday is the day after daddy's so we celebrated hers too. She was his little ray of sunshine. He thought the world of her. I can't even imagine going to eat there today. Just going there during the year is hard enough at times. It brings back all the memories of all the good times we had with him there. If I had known this was his last, I would have taken more pictures. Of the ones that I took this one is my favorite because every time I look at it I can hear him laughing.

IMG_8342

I so wanted to wake up this morning and have him back so that I could call him and wish him a happy birthday, but that wasn't God's plan. He called my daddy home when He was ready for him, not when I was ready. I have been told that the first birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, etc are the hardest ones. I certainly do believe that.. I went by and saw  daddy and will go back today at lunch to put some flowers on his grave. Not the way I wanted to spend his birthday but I have to remember that I still have my mama to take care of. Today I will eat with her and remember the good times with him.

We have some hard days ahead with the holidays approaching. Just thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas without him is hard. So today with a heavy heart I am thankful for the daddy that I was blessed to have in my life for almost 39 years. He taught me so many things about life, how to love your family and  what commitment was for he and my mama were married almost 49 years. He is my hero. Today he would have been 73. His absence has left a hole in our family that can never be filled.

Happy Birthday Daddy! I love you and will always be a Daddy's Girl.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a great picture of your dad! I hope you and your family feel God's arms holding you on these harder days. [My mom died 11 years ago. Losing a parent is a tough one.]

Melissa said...

It's the hardest thing I have ever been thru. I just thought my divorce 8 years ago was hard. Things are just never the same.

@JessEsco said...

Fabulous pictures. My heart is hurting for you. (Lost my mom to cancer in 2006) Me and BuenoBaby have been there and it is a horrible pain that I'm sad you know. The hardest thing is not being able to pick up the phone to say hi.

Lots of love to you today.

Melissa said...

Jess I think that is one of the hardest parts is not being able to pick up the phone. It's a pain that I can't describe.