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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Yesterday's Time Machine

Yesterday I went to visit a very precious friend of mine. She is battling pneumonia and an infection. It's some pretty scary stuff.  She was transfered to the hospital that my daddy was at for 5 weeks this year. It's been since February 16th that I had been in that hospital.

As I was driving over, it felt so familiar.  It was a drive I made for weeks every afternoon when I left work a little early to visit and check on my Daddy. As I parked the car that very familiar feeling came over me. It was like I had stepped back in time and it was that week in February all over again.  My mind went back to that day I got the call that were losing Daddy.  As I made my way up the stairs to the walkway headed to the front of the hospital, I remember the last time I was there - I was running, praying that what was about to happen wasn't happening. I saw some of the same faces of workers in the lobby that I was so used to seeing back a few months ago.

The emotions I felt yesterday were unreal. I got into the elevator and even though I knew I was going to the 3rd floor, I was about to push the button to go to the 4th floor.  It was all I could do to fight back the tears. When I got off the elevator on the 3rd floor my heart sank as it looked just like the 4th to me.  It was then and there I lost it. The helpless feeling knowing that the last time I was in that place I was saying goodbye to someone who was the world to me, my daddy.

I know that I will be going back to see my friend and I pray that each time will get easier.  They say time heals and I hope that it does.  But I know that I will never forget him or how much he loved me.  I miss him just as much today as I did then when I said "see you later".  For I have the hope that I will see him again.

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